new learning

Well, I discussed the European festival/marketing thing with my boyfriend. He's a successful and smart businessman, so I trust him for his advice. He thinks it's a waste of time and money, to send 300 items, which I have to get made up and spend money on, pay for shipping, and pay 50 euro to the festival people and I'm not even playing the fest. So he thinks it is only helping the festival people to look good to have goodie bags for their guests, but not beneficial to the artists who aren't playing it. I'm bummed because I get excited, that there's a break in the clouds that have seemed to hang over my career. He says I should invest that money here, either in town or in the U.S. to promote myself. So now I'm not sure what to do...

At church yesterday, the minister was speaking of creativity, and I have to remind myself again that I have access to creativity, which is Spiritual knowledge of course, in all things, not just in songwriting. I have access to the answers or direction to take in my career. I have to do the footwork, put one foot in front of the other, and not be dead-set on it being a certain way. It might lead me in a new, more satisfying direction. I keep thinking - am I meant to be a successful singer/songwriter? Maybe I'd be more happy as a business owner - I've always wanted to open a rehearsal studio or start my own music school, or even open a small restaurant. Not sure which direction I'm supposed to go. I'm just going to keep focusing on what I THINK I want and be open to other suggestions and directions from Spirit. I would like to have a hit song and write daily without having to worry about how I'm going to earn my living, and hustling, and all that. I know it's difficult to have a long-lasting career in the music business. But I'd like to have success even if I move on to something else later. I've put my whole life into this and I'd like to see it materialize. I can't give up now. But I'm willing to listen to my guidance and be open to other possibilities. I'm going to restate my wants:

I want to be offered a major gig as a singer/songwriter - either a European Jazz festival, a large club, opening for a major name artist, etc.
I want a major label artist to record one of my songs and release it as a single.
I want my songs placed in a major motion picture or TV show.
I want my songs to reach the #1 spot on the Billboard charts.
And of course, I want to be paid handsomely for all of the above so that I am truly living an abundant life.

Remember I said it takes 30 days for a new idea to take shape, at least mentally? So I'm still working on the 30 day thing....