Wednesday, July 14, 2010

following through

I realize why I'm having so many "issues" - first the flood, then my car problems, then seeing that my house was destroyed from previous water damage and termites, then finding out that the city knew about previous flooding but didn't inform me so I could have bought flood insurance. I feel like I'm constantly fighting - rather, standing up for myself and my rights, and what I believe to be right and fair. I just can't be silent anymore! I have kept repeating the affirmation "I deserve the best", thinking that would apply to my career and finances, that if I just kept repeating that I'd get a song cut or something. Well, I guess it will eventually, but I think when I affirm something, the Universe moves in to make it if I truly believe I deserve the best, the universe gives me the opportunity to prove it. So I keep having to say "no, this isn't good enough, I deserve better". That applies to my relationships, my business transactions, how I'm treated, etc. I am continually writing letters to people lately saying that "this is not OK" and "I expect more". I just don't want to come across as complaining or's more about standing up for myself and what I deserve. I thought about Muhammed Ali who continually stated "I am the greatest", and then he'd have to fight to prove it - he'd get knocked down, and would be worn out, but would still have to get up and fight again - he had to stay strong no matter how tired or hurt he was. He kept affirming his belief in himself and it paid off. He was determined to come out on top. I think I'm doing that too - I'm just not willing to accept second-best (or less) anymore. I want the best and I'm going to keep stating that truth and following through. I can't say I deserve the best and then accept something less-than best or worse. I can't accept people taking advantage of me, selling me shoddy product, or thinking they can pull the wool over my eyes or hide the truth from me. I'm calling them on it! I hate being confrontational - maybe that's why this is so hard for me - I never spoke up before. And sometimes it takes something dramatic to move us into the place of "I'm not going to take it anymore"! And that's what's happened to me with the flood - it pushed me into a new, more outspoken place in my life. If I want the best in my career and finances, then I have to accept the best in my day-to-day life and prove to myself and the universe that I mean business. So, although it has been incredibly painful, stressful, and taking a huge amount of my creative energy (which sucks), I have to do it, I have to follow through on what I believe to be right and just and live "I deserve the best".

Oh, and here's what I want:

I want to be offered a major gig as a singer/songwriter - either a European Jazz festival, a large club, opening for a major name artist, etc.
I want a major label artist to record one of my songs and release it as a single.
I want my songs placed in a major motion picture or TV show.
I want my songs to reach the #1 spot on the Billboard charts.
And of course, I want to be paid handsomely for all of the above so that I am truly living an abundant life.

Following through stating my truth like Muhammed Ali...

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