Tuesday, May 11, 2010

following up - more drama!

Wow, when you go through a major disaster and crisis, you certainly find out who your friends are! I've gone through so much drama and emotional pain the last week - but most of it as a result of the lack of support from certain people. Losing your house is one thing, but finding out that you can't depend on the people you thought you could depend on is quite another. And because of all the emotional drama I've been going through, I still am not writing. I have been practicing my song ideas, trying to be prepared for the audition. And I'm taking charge of my band, taking the lead in organizing the rehearsal and sending out the materials in advance so the band can be ready. I learned to never give someone else the power in my career or my songs..I have to know how to direct a band, write charts, be a good business person and band leader, in addition to being prepared as a vocalist. So many things on the plate of a musician, especially a band leader. Musicians, unfortunately, can be very flaky, so I can't trust them to follow through - I have to do it.
So even if I'm not particularly creative these last few days, I am working on music in other ways. And I actually believe working through "issues", releases blocks to my success and/or creativity somewhere down the road. Let's see if releasing certain people and old behaviors and patterns affects my career..let's see if I get that hit for finally telling myself I deserve the best life has to offer in every aspect!!

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