Monday, June 14, 2010

surrender

I've finally decided to give in to my fate - to write full time! What have I been waiting for? I have trimmed down my expenses so I can live off of my teaching income so I don't need to freak out or hustle non-stop anymore. It's so engrained in my brain that I must work, contribute, struggle, hustle, get up and get going, etc. And then I worry, worry, worry about money. But I just decided - enough of that! I am meant to write, and write I must. So everyday will be a writing day, not because there's a TV show audition or whatever, but because it's what I'm meant to do. I'm changing my focus from finding work, to enjoying my life. What a concept! It seems so simple that I should pursue what I love first and foremost, but "responsibilities" have always been at the forefront of my mind. I finally, for the first time in my life, don't have to worry about responsibilities...thank God! When I walk around with that burden on my shoulders, no wonder I can't write. So now I get up with a joyful attitude that today will be a day I create something wonderful - that can be my work!
I enjoyed spending time with an old friend on Saturday - she is a singer/songwriter as well, so I presented her with one of my musical compositions to see if she'd be interested in writing lyrics to it. That would give me more freedom to write music. I can then pick and choose which songs I want to write lyrics to. Probably the ones for myself as an artist and the more emotional ones..the songs that are commercial I'll probably co-write..
And I decided to start a R&B writers critique session, if I can get enough writers to commit to it. So I'm going to immerse myself in this thing, keep my focus on my joy, let go of all the worry and struggle, and BE the thing I want in my life - which is a full time songwriter. Wow, the joy!

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