Friday, May 28, 2010

trying to get it together

I am feeling so stuck and frustrated - yes, I'm writing. But just feel kind of "what's the use" lately. I know writing usually brings me joy, but I also want to have an outlet for my music. A friend of mine, who is a painter and graphic artist, once told me that she thought it was egotistical for me to want my music heard by the masses. She thought having talent alone was enough and that I should be satisfied with just being creative and not need my music to be heard. I think that's ridiculous! God did not give us talent to paint or sing or write or whatever to have it stashed away in some closet. My friend had lots of paintings but had never had a show of her work. What good is a painting in a closet? We are all here to express in some unique way. And I do believe it needs to be reciprocated. If doctors went to medical school and got their degrees but never went out to heal people, what good would that be? Isn't that the same thing? Isn't it OK to say "I'm good at this" and want to use that talent, whatever it is, to change the world in some degree? Whether it's a song, or a cure for cancer, or a joke, or a way of doing business more efficiently, aren't we all here to progress life inch by inch? And songs have great power to heal and bring joy and insight and pure pleasure -songs have great weight, in my opinion, in the grand scheme of things. Why get out of bed every morning if I'm just going to tuck away who I am and my self-expression in some closet somewhere. Prisoners and bad children are locked in closets! (hehee...just a little joke!)
I know I am meant to express, to write, to create, to sing, to show my inner thoughts to the world through words and music, and I'm OK with that. I'm not afraid of expressing myself and being vulnerable to criticism or whatever else. It's about risk-taking. Are you willing to take a risk and expose your soul? I will keep looking for the outlet for my art - I know I have an audience somewhere. God did not put me on this earth to struggle but to thrive! And thrive I will...God give me strength today and move me in the right direction so that I may use Your gifts to benefit myself and others. Thank You...

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