Friday, June 4, 2010

show tonight

Well it figures that I wouldn't be able to sleep well last night -up at 5:30 this morning. But that's OK. I took some aspirin (with caffeine) and had some coffee, so I'm raring to go! Gonna go work out, mow the lawn, and then I'm sure I'll be tired and can take a little nap. I'm always pretty particular on show days about rest, what I eat and drink, etc. I'm always trying to be in "good voice" when I perform and can be a bit diva-ish about it. It is how I earn my living after all! So I have to be careful about my instrument. Just like guitarists shine and polish their guitars, I shine and polish my voice.
Yesterday I bought a beginning guitar and beginning violin book - I'm going to see if I could teach both those instruments. I played violin for 9 years as a child all the way through high school. I know that was a LONG time ago, but maybe I'll still remember the basics, enough to teach a beginner. Is it like a bicycle? I hope so...Trying to let go of the "need" and desperation for my songwriting career and earn more money as a teacher. They say as long as there's desperation, then I'm keeping my good from me. The more I need something, the more I push it away. Just like a desperate lover rarely gets loved....desperation and need can be such a huge turn-off. I guess that applies to everything..
There's so many reasons I want success as a songwriter and performing singer/ is just one of the things and not even at the top of the list. OK, here's my list - since I'm opening my soul to the world might as well fill you all in. As a songwriter I'm opening my soul anyway so I guess this is nothing new. Here's why I want to be successful:
1) I want to see my music, my contribution to life, to reach its destination - the listening and enjoying public. I want to see it hit it's mark, to actually get out of my studio and into the real world, into the hands and hearts of others. It's a sense of evolvement, expansion, just like the universe continues to expand and plants grow outward (purple haze and all that), I believe we all want to reach our mark in life, find our place and why we're here. Big stuff!
2) I want to make a difference in the world, to see joy and musical fulfillment in my listeners, that my music has the power to add something valuable to their lives, even if it's only 3 minutes, that those 3 minutes are rewarding and touch them in some special way. (that's big huh?)
3) I want to reciprocate my value - I want to receive what I have given so freely - to earn income, respect for my art, acknowledgement of my talent, to be valued in lots of different ways. I AM ready to receive!
4) I want to experience life in a more fulfilling way -I want to travel and perform on different stages and work with different artists and songwriters and musicians and meet new people. LIVE!
5) I want to create with different artists and songwriters and musicians, writing new music daily, pushing myself to express, explore, and enrich my own and other musicians through the art of writing.
6) I want to mentor others and how can I do that if I'm not successful? People always say you can be what you want where you already are (deep spiritual concepts), but not everyone buys into that. Sometimes I must actually have the goods, the real physical proof for people to believe in me. I know it shouldn't be that way, but it is. So I want the physical success, the hit songs, the major label artists, the grammies, so I can BE what I'm preaching and then help others with their own success. I have to be the example first.
7) I want money! Yes, I want a life that is more free -to buy what I want, to travel when I want, to share what I've got, to give and receive!
8) I want the accomplishment and achievement, to add notches on my belt, so that the older I get, the more I fill my own basket of good. I'd like a long resume, something that if it was read out loud, would be impressive all I've accomplished.

OK, that's the short list - I'm sure more reasons will come. I read recently in a spiritual book that we should never ask the how's and when's, but only state what I want and I'm doing that now for the world to see! I'd love to see your list...!

Wish me luck on my show tonight - I'm excited!

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