lyrics

I was trying to write lyrics to a new song of mine. The music is uptempo, danceable, and very marketable. I was stuck though, writing the same old cliche lines and non-descript stuff. So I googled a famous pop-writer's songs to see what the stuff being written for Beyonce, Kelly Clarkson, etc. was all about. This writer has a slew of top hits, recorded by some of the biggest names in the industry, so I surprised to see the lyrics as cliche lines and non-descript stuff! I think a lot of that type of contemporary music is the production, the groove, etc, not the foundation of good writing. Maybe I should have taken up production and programming in my earlier days...hmmm...
So back to my song, I just can't write fluff, even if that's what the market is doing. I think it's OK for some lyrics to be light-hearted love songs. I've got no problem with that. But there's got to be a way to say that in a unique way, or at least descriptive. In Nashville, we call that adding "furniture". But that takes a lot of creativity and ingenuity to say something differently that's been said a million times before. How do you describe "I love you"?
So then I read the lyrics of one of my favorite writers, Corinne Bailey Ray, and her stuff is great! Not only is the music fabulous, but the lyrics are fresh and interesting and thought-provoking and all that stuff..So I decided to push myself to write something like that. You know we all learn from others, so I don't have a problem with studying other writers and using their works as examples to grow on...
My new song, so far, is interesting, has a little story behind the love theme, and has plenty of "furniture" - descriptives to show the scene, rather than just telling it. So I'm happy so far. The only thing is- my title that I had chosen is not going to work anymore. I have two verses finished but no hook line...I'm gonna have to spend some contemplative time on that to find something that fits with this story and has hook-appeal. But at least it's coming along.
I'm trying to find time to write, at least a few times a week, to keep the engine churning. Otherwise, my soul gets weary...gotta write!

realization

The truth is, if I'm broke, then I have a heavy burden weighing on my shoulders and I feel guilty about sitting around the house writing music. I feel I need to get out there and do WORK, to earn my keep, to contribute to the world and take care of myself. So many emotions wrapped up with money and value and worth! I've been trying to put my art first and not worry about the rest, but I just have to work harder at marketing myself and creating income, so that I can write comfortably without worry. Worry is the biggest hindrance to creativity..
And I have to be more structured - find time to write daily, but still apply myself in a business way. No more talking on the phone to my friends or going to lunches. It's time to get serious!! I have to treat every day as the typical business person does - get up and get to work. No surfing the web or emailing people on FaceBook. I have to have a plan and stick to it. Music IS a business and I have to treat it as such. I lost my steam because I got so discouraged...music can just whip you down. And I've been down on the ground with my face in the mud SO many times - I just wonder why I keep going at this? I just don't feel like there's anything else I want to do or have the patience or tolerance for. Nobody wants to work for someone else, but working for yourself is hard work! I have to be a one-woman show - do the writing, the singing, the organizing of the gigs, the marketing, the chart-writing, the day-to-day business, the bookkeeping, etc. It just never ends and there's no clear-cut path to success. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of another and don't give up!! I think I'd given up internally at least, just felt so discouraged. But that will get me nowhere. And if I'm going to do this, then I have to DO IT! So I'm working hard at creating something for myself - not waiting for anyone to do it for me. It's my life and I have to create what I want for it. And the music business is a business like any other business - it requires skill, dedication, drive, and work! So off to work I go....

getting serious

OK, I'm sick of struggling - my car cost my $1300 yesterday to get the air conditioner fixed. I only paid $6500 for the car and was hoping it would be a good deal...so my boyfriend and I had a long talk last night. If I want to be successful I've just got to work harder, be more structured, and actually treat this career as a job. No more going out to lunch with my friends, spending money on clothes, talking on the phone for hours each day. I'm really sinking financially lately and have to tighten up in every regard. I have to be ready to work each day at a reasonable hour and cross things off of my list. I know I've said that there's no clear-cut path in this business. I don't know that the work I do will bring any returns. I could spend the next 10 years of my life struggling no matter how hard I work. And it's hard, because I've already spent 20 years of my life struggling in this business. Why do I keep trying? I've been thrown off that horse so many times, I can't even count them. I feel like I'm on all fours pulling myself with my hands. That's the life of a songwriter. Glamorous huh? Not really. I just keep batting around in the dark, like it's a pinata and at some point I've got to hit it and get the candy inside. It's just that someone keeps yanking it up, so I just keep swinging. I can't give it up now - I've got nothing else. I just don't want another day job...it's not the jobs I hate, it's usually the bosses. Sick of people standing over me telling me what to do. I want to be my own boss, but that will require a LOT of effort. To be self-employed requires diligence, and I must get better at marketing. That's always a musicians greatest fear is to market - I hate it. I don't want to call people up and sell myself. I always feel like I'm begging. I guess that's the wrong approach to take. Gonna have to pull myself up by my bootstraps and walk on...

surrender

I've finally decided to give in to my fate - to write full time! What have I been waiting for? I have trimmed down my expenses so I can live off of my teaching income so I don't need to freak out or hustle non-stop anymore. It's so engrained in my brain that I must work, contribute, struggle, hustle, get up and get going, etc. And then I worry, worry, worry about money. But I just decided - enough of that! I am meant to write, and write I must. So everyday will be a writing day, not because there's a TV show audition or whatever, but because it's what I'm meant to do. I'm changing my focus from finding work, to enjoying my life. What a concept! It seems so simple that I should pursue what I love first and foremost, but "responsibilities" have always been at the forefront of my mind. I finally, for the first time in my life, don't have to worry about responsibilities...thank God! When I walk around with that burden on my shoulders, no wonder I can't write. So now I get up with a joyful attitude that today will be a day I create something wonderful - that can be my work!
I enjoyed spending time with an old friend on Saturday - she is a singer/songwriter as well, so I presented her with one of my musical compositions to see if she'd be interested in writing lyrics to it. That would give me more freedom to write music. I can then pick and choose which songs I want to write lyrics to. Probably the ones for myself as an artist and the more emotional ones..the songs that are commercial I'll probably co-write..
And I decided to start a R&B writers critique session, if I can get enough writers to commit to it. So I'm going to immerse myself in this thing, keep my focus on my joy, let go of all the worry and struggle, and BE the thing I want in my life - which is a full time songwriter. Wow, the joy!

dedication

Yesterday I spent about 4 hours working on music. Between writing new music and practicing piano, I finally got some real time to spend with my craft. Wow, I feel empowered now! Funny how I avoid the thing I love the most. It's not that I'm trying to avoid it, but life gets in the way...I also see that my emotions take a toll when I don't spend time in my core Self...writing gets me back in touch with who I am, my purpose in life, what I came here to do, my unique talent and gift to share. It helps me to feel vitalized, special, connected to Source/God (yes, it's that big). I really need to try to treat my music and writing like a job: I get up and do my morning thing, then go to work! I have the freedom currently to do that, which is a huge blessing! But I tend to sit here and think because I'm not working a "day job", that I'm not doing enough, that I'm not worthy or valid - so much of our identity in this country is based on money and how much we earn, not how much we contribute as being good people or bringing joy or beauty through art into the world. I'm still stuck on that...gotta re-wire my brain to think differently.
Today I also have the opportunity to work on music, so I'm going to get to it asap! I decided to get together with one of my pianists and record all of my new songs on mini-disc, just so I can hear what's really working and what's not. It's so easy to think something's great, and then when I hear it with the band or spend hundreds of dollars recording it, it just doesn't sound so good. So I'm going to make a small investment (hiring him), and record all the songs with piano BEFORE I go into the studio with a band. My computer program I use (Band in a Box) is great for writing purposes, but doesn't always give me the big picture. So once again, I've got to get charts and mp3's ready to mail to him, but that's OK. That was on my to-do list anyway is to get all of my songs charted and recorded so they are available and organized.

Anyway, still kind of going through a slump, wondering when my music will ever take off in the way I want it to...when will it be commercially recognized and purchased and broadcast in a big way? Still feeling left out in the cold in terms of success in my field, and that hurts. I'm going to allow myself to feel hurt and grieve the loss of what I want so badly in my life, but I've got to keep moving forward and not get stuck in the pain of it. Feel it and move on...
So onward I go!

priority

Yes, I have to make songwriting a priority each day. It's what I love, what I want to accomplish, who I want to be. So why do I have to get everything else done before I can write? If there's dishes in the sink, I do the dishes before I can write. I have to have a clear space in my head before I can concentrate and get into the "zone".
Lately, I've come up with a lot of projects to work on which have been distracting me - for instance, I created a web page with a dozen or so of my top songs, so that I can email the link to whomever might be looking for songs in one easy click. It's laid out very professionally, and all the songs are on a table on one screen. It took me about 4 hours to do. I emailed it to a TV/film guy in LA and he wrote back "I'll keep you on file". A 10 second reply for my 4 hours of work...but it's good I have it. But projects like that take time, and are part of my songwriting journey. They are a necessity actually, songwriting alone is not going to get my songs out in the world.
There's so many hats a songwriter must wear, and being successful in business and marketing is, unfortunately, one of them. I've never been good at marketing, as so few creative people are. But I have to improve my business skills if I want to be successful in this field. I talked to my boyfriend, who runs a successful business, and interviewed him about business skills. I learned a lot from him. And I also have a motto: What would Dolly do? hehe...Dolly Parton is my mentor (she just doesn't know it yet). I aspire to be as creative and successful in business as Dolly, plus have her winning personality and charitable giving. So I'm trying to think like a successful person in every aspect.
Here's the hats a songwriter must wear (in my opinion):
- creativity - duh...that's a given
- technical know-how in the craft of writing (there's got to be a balance between creativity and technical know-how)
- music skills - best to play an instrument (I'm sorry, I just don't how you can call yourself a songwriter if you don't have any music skills - go take guitar lessons or something already!)
- personable - how else you gonna get your foot in the door? You can't be too shy
- confidence - you've got to believe in yourself
- business know-how - that's just the bottom line, you gotta know how to succeed in business
- good leadership skills - you've got to direct the band, the recording engineer all while keeping a smile on your face. You want to be respected right? You can't be bossy or unsure of yourself either.
- recording knowledge - you gotta go in the studio with an idea of the arrangement of the song, or you're literally putting your life in someone else's hands. I used to let the engineer or demo guy arrange and produce the song, and then I'd have to pay him and the musicians whether I liked the outcome or not. That gets expensive! And then you may have to do the song a second time to get it the way you want it.
- emotionally/spiritually balanced - don't be a diva or drama queen or flaky or any of the qualities associated with creative personalities. Learn to behave yourself in a balanced and professional way - get up, get going, show up on time, treat people with respect, learn to be a giving person, be clean and professional in your appearance, be courteous of others...
There's much more, but I'll write more later. Gotta get going. Trying to schedule my time wisely today so I can write later on!!

cool gig!

My show Friday night was awesome! It was a small crowd, but that's usually what it is for this particular setting. I was the most excited about getting to perform my songs in a scaled-down way with just piano, and getting to sing 3 new songs. If the songs sound good with just piano, then I feel good, that the songs are good. Plain and simple. And they sounded great! It always gets me excited to hear them this way and gives me confidence as a writer. I heard Sade's new songs from her new album, and yes, they are cool, but would they work with just piano? I don't think so...interesting production, lots of drums, but not sure they work as complete songs on their own. But that's just my opinion.
And the 3 new songs went over great! Actually everyone came up to me after the show and expressed that those songs were their favorite songs! I had been nervous about performing them - one of them I had never played for anyone, much less perform on stage. I usually take my songs to the songwriting workshop to get feedback, but hadn't done that with this one particular song. And when I write them, I program the songs into a program called Band In A Box, which adds tracks with a groove, but they always sound cheesy and computerized. And when I add my vocals with my limited engineering skills, the demos always sound pretty bad. So I'm never sure how they will turn out either in a real recording or live. But this time, I took a risk and it paid off big! My song "Who I Am" seemed to be everybody's favorite, and it was the one I was most unsure of. Isn't that interesting that what I fear the most is the thing that becomes the greatest gift...? And now I have more confidence in my writing skills, that I'm getting better and better..that feels great! And it feels great to know I have a list of great songs, not just a couple. It takes years to create a list of songs that are good - for every great one, I have to write 3 or 4 OK songs. So I have to keep writing..
I'm still looking for my outlet, the pillow for my songs to rest upon...where is my audience? Where are the artists looking for songs like mine to record? I'm trusting it's out there somewhere, and I can't worry about it. I just have to do what I do, which is create. Eventually, my ship will come in - or I'll have to swim out to it!